Wednesday, 14 November 2012

Bona Craft: A Schlumpher's Guide




Mr. Thorne: Craft Beer is very popular at the moment, and as I was walking down the Euston Road the other day I spotted an unusual building with a bright neon sign that said Bona Craft. I was feeling rather thirsty so I trolled in...


J: Hello, I'm Jimmy and this is my friend Sidney.


S: How lovely to vada your dolly old eek!


Mr. Thorne: There are so many fridges and taps here, I don't know where to begin.


J: Scarper nanti!
Frigidaires here, Frigidaires there, Frigids everywhere.
Pull up a stool, sit your dish down and prepare to learn Craft.


Mr. Thorne: What's this extraneous Co2 that Mr. Eros speaks of?


J: Never aunt nell to gossip, the extraneous doesn't harm. Nelly not to Mr. Eros. Fear nanti!
Bung him a carafe of yer finest Imperial barrel-aged bungery juice.


S: Park a load of measures in me lills for thrills and spills.
Ogle the menu, feast your orbs on the vastness of Craftness.


Mr. Thorne: Mmm. I must say, this beer is tasty.


J:Waft the aromas up yer onk. Schlumph deep and don't spit.
Swallow until your lallies buckle.
Schlumphers of the Bona Craft unite! Educate fellow omis and palones in the cackle of Craft!


S: Troll out of here and spread the word Craft from omi to omi, palone to palone. Bona Craft!


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