Monday, 20 June 2011

AMATEUR DRINKERS







Can't bloody stand amateur drinkers.
OK it's not entirely their fault. I'm sure a lot of them don't even want to be in the pub half the time but are forced into it by circumstance.

Here's a short list of the times I loathe going into a pub because it will be full of AMATEUR DRINKERS.

The obvious one is St. Patricks day.
Who would wear a comedy hat and spray the streets with pavement pizza but the Amateur Drinker? The worst thing about being in Leicester at this time of year is it usually falls on the same date as Leicester Beer Festival, so some of them stray into the festival or you can't visit a pub on the way to or from the fest without bumping into a Guinness swilling sheep.

Christmas (or the Leaving Do)
For some reason work colleagues decide they must go out with one another during the last days of work leading up to their Christmas holiday.
Crowding the bloody bar not knowing what to order.

Even in a decent pub that has a selection of cask ales or impressive imported lagers alongside the industrial swill you will hear a conversation like
"What would you like?"
"Lager please"
"Which one?"
"Any, anything will do"

You may also hear someone order "A pint of bitter please" when there are several different ones on handpull in front of them.

Pub Quiz nights
My biggest bugbear, particularly if they are held towards the end of the week when the pub should be full hardened professionals. Pub Quizes should be on a Monday when the professional boozer is still nursing the hangover from his or her four day binge.
I can't stand being in a pub when one of the staff is jabbering into a microphone and the pub is full of customers that aren't there to drink but to show off their ability to answer utterly banal questions.

Valentines Day
If Valentines Day falls on a weekend and the pub you're going to serves food just don't bother leaving the house.
Stay in and share a bottle of Cantillon Lou Pepe Kriek with your partner.

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